Resources for Survivors of Violence and Abuse

Safety From Violence Is A Right™ provides education, awareness and advocacy information. We do not provide crisis intervention, counselling, legal advice or individual case management.

Information on this page is general in nature and cannot take account of every person's circumstances. Where possible, seek advice from an appropriate specialist service about your individual situation.

Violence and abuse do not always look the way people expect.

You may have experienced physical or sexual violence. You may also have lived with threats, intimidation, surveillance, humiliation, financial abuse, isolation, coercive control or behaviour designed to make you afraid.

You may still be questioning whether what happened to you counts as abuse.

You are allowed to seek information and support even when you are uncertain about the words you would use to describe your experience.

People sometimes ask why someone experiencing violence does not “just leave”.

That question overlooks the realities many survivors face.

A person using violence may control money, threaten children or pets, monitor communications, undermine confidence, interfere with employment, threaten self-harm or retaliation, or make it difficult for someone to leave safely.

For some people, separation can also be a period of increased risk.

Staying, leaving, returning or remaining in contact does not make you responsible for another person's violence.

Responsibility belongs with the person choosing to use violence.

A safety plan is not simply a plan for leaving.

It may involve thinking about what could make you safer while you remain where you are, preparing for an emergency, identifying trusted people, considering children's needs, protecting important information or making plans for after separation.

What is useful will depend on your circumstances.

A specialist domestic, family or sexual violence service can help you think through options that take your individual situation into account.

You do not have to create the perfect plan before asking for help.

Technology can be used as part of coercion and control.

Phones, computers, shared accounts, location services, smart devices, cloud storage, vehicle technology, apps and browser history may reveal information about where you are or what you are doing.

Changing passwords, removing access or altering settings can sometimes alert a person who is monitoring technology.

If you believe your devices or accounts may be monitored, consider using a safer device where possible and seek specialist advice before making significant changes.

The aim is not to make you responsible for preventing technology-facilitated abuse. Responsibility remains with the person choosing to misuse technology.

Violence can affect children even when it is not directed physically towards them.

Children may hear violence, see its aftermath, notice fear and tension, experience disrupted routines or become involved in attempts to control a parent or caregiver.

You may also be making decisions while trying to protect children, maintain housing, manage schooling and respond to legal or parenting arrangements.

These can be difficult and competing pressures.

Seeking specialist support can help you consider both your safety and your children's needs without placing responsibility for the violence on you.

Disclosure is personal.

Some survivors tell a friend, family member, doctor, counsellor, colleague, specialist service or police. Others need time before telling anyone.

You may tell only part of what happened. You may remember things gradually. You may struggle to explain events in a clear sequence.

Trauma, fear and coercive control can affect memory, confidence and the way someone describes their experience.

You should not have to present your experience perfectly in order to deserve support.

Some survivors are not believed when they first disclose abuse.

Others are minimised, blamed, questioned about their choices or told that what happened was not serious enough.

A poor response can make seeking help again extremely difficult.

If someone failed to respond appropriately, that does not mean another service or professional will respond in the same way.

You are entitled to look for support that treats you with dignity and takes your concerns seriously.

Some survivors want to report violence to police. Others do not, or are not ready to.

There can be many reasons for either decision.

You may want information about your options before deciding what action, if any, you want to take.

Specialist advocacy and legal services can help explain processes, rights and possible pathways.

Seeking support and making a formal report are not the same thing.

For some survivors, separation brings relief. For others, abuse, harassment, stalking, financial control, legal processes or parenting disputes continue after the relationship has ended.

Even when immediate danger has passed, the effects of violence can remain.

You may be rebuilding finances, relationships, confidence, routines and a sense of safety.

There is no timetable for recovery.

Support is not only for people currently experiencing violence. You can seek help months or years after abuse has ended.

You may have stayed.

You may have returned.

You may have tried to keep the peace.

You may have withdrawn a complaint.

You may still love the person who harmed you.

You may have done whatever you believed would help you or someone else get through the situation.

None of those things transfer responsibility for another person's violence onto you.

You do not need to know what happens next.

Your first step might simply be reading information.

It might be speaking privately with someone you trust.

It might be contacting a specialist service and asking questions.

It might be learning about your legal options without taking action.

Or it might be deciding that today is not the day to do anything further.

You remain the person best placed to understand the realities of your life.

Good support should help you make informed choices — not take those choices away from you.

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Specialist services can provide information, safety planning, counselling, advocacy, legal information and other forms of support.

You can contact a service simply to ask questions. You do not need to have decided what you want to do before reaching out.

If you are in immediate danger in Australia, call 000.